Are You Should-ing on Yourself?
So, there was this one time after grad school where I forgot that I was an artist...
for like 5 years.
Actually, forgot is the wrong word: more like suppressed. I was so determined to make it as an entrepreneur and to do so in service to education and social change that I literally told myself that making art was a waste of time... that it didn't serve people the way I could or should.
Sure, my creativity took on other dimensions in my consulting and program design. Some would even call what I was doing art, but the point is: I didn't let myself venture into the personal creative practice that I have loved since childhood. I had strict 'should' policies in place that kept me in a narrow lane and it limited me beyond the obvious.
Are you should-ing on yourself?
Our dreams and urges are invitations from our higher selves, asking us to grow into who we are meant to become. Are you ignoring the call?
Is there something that you want deep down that you are not letting yourself pursue (for any number of seemingly valid reasons)? I was ignoring my own creative urges to grow a business that helped kids and families learn through understanding and channeling their creativity. I had a great reason to avoid my own creative work, but it hurt to deny myself what I was actively offering others. It took time to understand this.
So, if you're ignoring guidance from your inner sage because you feel you "should _______ instead," I'm here to say: STOP doing that shit.
Do yourself a favor and loosen up the reigns on what you think you're supposed to do. Give yourself the freedom and space to show up for what your soul is asking of you. It's okay to stop doing that thing you hate, but do anyway out of guilt.
I like to think of these urges as the voice of my inner child. She's wild, but honest and craves play and authenticity. You can't ignore a child, not for long anyway, without risking damage to her development and well-being.
You-- and the things you want to do-- are important. Your unique gifts are needed in this world. Your joy is needed in this world. If you are not acting in accordance with this truth, start noticing and making some changes. This kind of showing up for yourself can have profound results in your life.
The spillover effect is real.
My truth is that when I stop creating what I'm called to create, I can't serve anyone-- at least not well. I've cycled through this lesson multiple times in my life. Full circle every time: listen to your inner child. Honor intuition. Be yourself. Embody integrity.
You can't go wrong with principles, but wounded logic is a slippery slope.
So, what's your truth?
Through unpacking my stuffed should suitcase over the years, I have been confronted with important blindspots, welcomed fresh insights, and let go of limiting beliefs. I've learned so much about myself and how to be a better educator, collaborator, founder, daughter, and friend. I welcome new roles with excitement and strengthen existing ones by mothering myself in accordance with universal truths and divine love. This is your invitation to do the same and stop shoulding on yourself.